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Pump Paraphernalia – WTH?

Posted by on January 21, 2012

This one is for you working mommas out there!

This was just TOO funny to keep to myself.  Thank you to my guest writer “B-MansMom”  for taking the time to share.

A little background before the story B-MansMom works full time for a financial firm and after I had been having a really rotten day she decided to share this HILARIOUS event with me.  I laughed for hours!  I hope you do too!!!


As a working mom, Friday just can’t come soon enough!  It’s the light at the end of a long week for me.  On my way home, I see those blue lights flashing… “Great! Now WHAT?!”  My mind racing to the baby I knew was home crying and my husband counting down the minutes to my arrival.

The officer pulled me over for a headlight that is out.  His light shining in my car window he asked for the usual (license, registration, etc).  The problem is I moved my wallet into my pumping bag .  I figured it would be a nightmare trying to keep up with a purse, a diaper bag, and my huge electric pump bag.  I just cram everything into the pump bag and leave the diaper bag in the back seat.

So here I was trying to find my wallet, but also trying to hide all my pump parts in the dark! I didn’t want to yank out my tubing, expressed breast milk, and breast pads along with the wallet.  I like to keep some things private. I mean being topless at work and pumping in a loan booth is bad enough.  My male boss doesn’t make eye contact with me for at least an hour after I pump – it’s awkward.   I was just trying to avoid more awkwardness with this male police officer.

Silly me!  Cops are trained to recognize when someone is trying to hide something!!!!!  It was SOOO obvious that I had something in that bag I was trying to hide.   With a flashlight directly in my eyes he notes that my eyes are super red, puffy, with circles under them.  The minute he said “step out of the car”  I knew he thought I was under the influence. That is kinda how you look when you are working full time and up all night with a colicky 8 week old!!!!

“Just leave that bag on the seat and we will talk about that bong in a minute.”   I was so shocked it was all I could do to stammer “It’s just my breast-pump officer!”  His turn to be embarrassed!  I opened it up just hoping I was going to make it home before my son had a total meltdown.   He had seen the weird parts and the tubing and thought I was hiding my bong. He was very embarrassed when I pulled out my expressed milk to prove that I was not hiding anything, but breast milk. Now we are back to the awkward thing from earlier.

  • Note to self….. breast pumps look like bongs!!!

FYI: no ticket either guess he was just too embarrassed!


Do you have a funny story to share with other moms?  Post it below or add a link to your own story. 

With humor we really can move through the stressful times a bit faster!

5 Responses to Pump Paraphernalia – WTH?

  1. James' Mom

    LOVE IT! Pumping at work is awkward. You just never know when someone will be in the kitchen getting coffee when you need the fridge. Bottles of mommy moo make everyone a little uncomfortable – even the women. No one wants a reminder that you were just topless at work. :)

  2. Suzanne

    I travel with my pump all the time “just in case” and I never thought about someone thinking it was anything other than a pump!

  3. Lisa M

    Omg they do look like bong parts! I have a pump from trying to nurse and it so looks like that!

  4. Susan B

    Bwahh hahahaha! That’s awesome. Thanks for sharing. I’m finding I relish the awkwardness. It’s a great reason for people to leave you alone when you’re too tired (and miss your baby too much) to be cheerful. Also I’m kinda proud of everyday I can provide for my little guy. Thanks for the support in getting to that point Suzanne!

    • Suzanne

      I’ll try to keep a few working moms rotating in as guest writers! I never thought about how awkward it must be. It’s got to be hard to fit in a pumping schedule and work. Keep up the awesome job!