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First Time Not A Charm

Posted by on February 24, 2012

This post is part of the Breastfeeding Blog Hop hosted by The Slacker Mom and co-hosted by Happiness Redefined and The Gnome’s Mom.

Today’s topic:  First Time Jitters: Leaving your Baby in the Care of Someone Else

The first time I left my son was to go to shopping with my mom and grandmother for a few tops that weren’t maternity clothing.  He was 6 weeks old.  I wasn’t nervous at all with leaving my son with Don and my dad.  UNTIL I was in the dressing room and decided to call Don’s phone – no answer.  I tried again – no answer.  I felt like I was going to be sick!!!!  Finally he answered and I could hear my poor baby screaming in the background.  Of course, I busted a leak on both sides- thank you hormones!  I hustled my grandmother and mother into the car and drove the mile back to our house.  The first sound to reach my ears upon my return was my baby boy wailing at the top of his lungs!  My father was hiding in the kitchen with tears in his eyes and Don was rocking our son who would have nothing to do with the bottle.  He had taken half of the bottle and that was it.   It took me a good hour of nursing and rocking to get him settled back down!  We didn’t know at the time was that he was intolerant to all of the dairy that I was eating.

To this day, when I consider leaving my nursing boy behind, I see spilled milk, refusal of sippy cup, screaming baby, diapers strewn about, and a stressed dad amidst the chaos.   Yes, that’s what I think about every time I consider leaving my nursing baby.  My fears, first experience, and having to pump are the reasons that at 7 & 1/2 months, my baby boy has been without me a grand total of FOUR hours!!!!   All of these times he was left with Don, never anyone else and always for a really good reason like my dentist trip this week.

Leaving my nursing baby means a bit of thought and preparation.  For starters I have to pump enough milk for the amount of time I will be away OR thaw out some from the freezer stash.  I’m not a huge fan of pumping after the pump-n-dump episode.  I have no reason to pump other than to add to my freezer or let him practice drinking from his sippy cup.

Don and I have NEVER been on a date without our son!  <—  This seems to be really important to a lot of the new moms in our breastfeeding support group.  If it’s important to you GO FOR IT, but it’s just not a priority in our lives right now.  Maybe by the time he’s a year old I will have the courage to go out without my baby for more than an hour.  I’ll let you all know when that day happens!

How did you feel about leaving your nursing baby behind the first time?  Or the millionth?

9 Responses to First Time Not A Charm

  1. Crystal

    For single moms like me who don’t have much choice, I have to spend a little less than 1/4 of the year away from my little man. (yes I actually calculated it). The first time was when he was 2 months old. Prior to that I hadn’t left him for more than 5 minutes. I knew that in a month I would have to go back to work, so I had to make sure he would take a bottle before I left him with anyone. I gave him a bottle each day to practice. Oh how I hated that too! He never had a problem. I found his first babysitter (who just happened to live next door). I wanted to “practice being away from him”. I say it that way because with him being so people friendly he had no problem. I, however, hated the idea of going back to work and spending a whole 12 hours away from him. So for his first time with the sitter I planned to leave him there for 4 hours. I dropped him off, gave her all her instructions, and…went right back next door to my house to wait. I didn’t even want to go anywhere in case he needed me. I called every hour. Now I am on my third babysitter! It isn’t really hard to leave him anymore. Now it is hard when I pick him up because I get to hear all that I missed! the fact that he has had a great day is both good and bad because I don’t want him to like playing with her more than he does with me! And my biggest fear is missing something big! Luckily I did get to see his first solo steps!

    • Suzanne

      OH bless your heart you added up the days you’d miss in the first year. With 12 hour shifts you are an amazing breastfeeding super mom! :)
      That is such a great way to do the first time away from baby! I wish I had thought to do something like that the first time & maybe it would have gone better.

  2. Mable

    The first time I left Critter was when he was about a month ago. He’s 11 weeks. I don’t remember exactly what I was going out for but I decided to stop by a friend’s house and have my mother try a bottle with him. I was so nervous! I called four times in the first hour and everything was fine other than the fact that he wasn’t really hungry enough to take a bottle. I decided it was probably a good idea to stop distracting everyone with my phone calls and just let myself have fun. One hour went by, then two, then, around hours 3 and 1/2, I got a call from my mother. I answered the phone and heard my Love on the other end (my mother had held the phone up to his little mouth) just crying away. I burst into tears and milk! I’m sure I looked like an idiot/mad woman because I didn’t even say anything. I started crying hysterically and ran out to the car (neglecting to say bye to my friend and his partner). I was home in less than two minutes haha! I busted through the door and nursed him while I silently cried. My mother no longer tries the “listen to your baby cry for you over the phone” technique lol and Critter hates bottles.

    • Suzanne

      Got to love how those hormones kick in when babies cry! He will get better at taking bottles (or sippy cups) that I can almost promise you. Just keep working with him. :)

  3. Nichole

    Well, three kids later, Honestly I’m looking for the nearest neighbor, friend, relative, some friendly woman with cookies to pass the boys off to for an hour or so. No. Like I keep telling you, it gets easier. We both have totally different situations, at this point I would of been showing with number two and not had as helpful of a husband as you do. BUT I promise it’s ok! Leaving him won’t damage him any worse than any other technique you try out on him. Don’t over read. :) It was GOOD in college, now it’s just going to add more idea to your head than the million other worries you already have in there. Do your research, then remember, when all else fails YOU are the mom to YOUR baby. He’s different than mine. But I’ve already told you, come this summer, you don’t have much choice, it’s only kidnapping if I don’t bring him back…and hey, I haven’t lost the other three…at least not recently.

  4. Suzanne

    We are definitely working up to longer times away now. He did great while I was gone to the dentist last week. My baby is growing up and I need to give him a little credit for that.

  5. Lara K

    I actually got anxious reading this post, that’s how much I can relate to it! I hate that feeling of calling home and you can hear your little one crying in the background, and you know she’s crying for YOU and you alone! Arrghhh, the stress! So glad it’s gotten easier for you, as it has for me too. I feel the same way as you about date nights, by the way. For the most part it’s just not worth it! We only had a couple in the first two years of our daughter’s life.

    • Suzanne

      It made me anxious to write it out and live it all over again! :) Date nights require so much planning that it takes the fun out of it.

  6. Susan B

    We left B for the first time at about 4 weeks. Left him with my mom for a dinner out. He was asleep when we left and asleep when we got back so it was a success. Now back at work I have a hard time believing the moms who say it will get better. I miss him when he’s with his dad but at least he’s with dad. And I get pictures. My heart is torn when he’s at daycare. I still cry most days. At least when I’m pumping I can take a break and look at pictures. Luckily he’s good on a bottle! My next hurdle is an overnight work trip I just found out about. I don’t get the people who say you have to rediscover who you are besides mom. I don’t want to! How exactly am I supposed to have a whole night plus two days of work away from him?? Guess I better build those freezer supplies now!